Let's Begin Again

The great domestication experiment has not gone well… But let’s start from the middle.

After my dog died in December, I finally graduated with a B.A. after 15 years in and out of school. In April I quit my job, a terrible job that I hated but needed while I was in school. I have managed to get by since then, but at some point I will need to suck it up and get an adult job. It’s not what I want, but it is what I need.

Add to this that a year ago, almost to the day, the Male Unit in my relationship decided to move into his own place. We are still together, but living separately. It is glorious, but it is also why I needed to get a crappy job in my last semester of school.

I don’t want to work a 9 to 5 job. I never even really wanted to get a degree. I have no idea what I want to do, I only know what I don’t want to do.

I was supposed to start a blog about trying to figure out being a stay-at-home-girlfriend years ago, then it was going to be about living alone again… now it will be about trying to find my place in the world.

I have no idea how this will go, if anyone will read it, or if I will do regular updates. What I do know is that I am not alone. There are so many people out there who are lost, confused, and annoyed at living a life they don’t want to but have no other choice.

I will one day have it all, whatever it is. For now, I have to clean out the spare room in my place for someone who may or may not need it, and then find a job to keep the place because I definitely need it. Here’s hoping it all goes well.

Life Post Puck

On December 9, 2017, I had to put down my beloved dog Puck. He had an autoimmune disease that had been killing him for a few weeks, unseen, but sped up the week of his death. This was an absolutely devastating decision for me, and has re-sparked my depression on a level I have never before experienced. I had no idea how much of my life had been built around this dog in his 6 years of life until he was gone. It has been almost a month, but it feels simultaneously like a day and a lifetime. I still cry randomly because something makes me miss him.

Here he is the night before, the day of, and in the comfort room as we prepare to say goodbye.

       

Puck's passing was one of the most difficult things I have ever gone through. It makes me feel a little guilty that there has not been a death of any human loved ones that have effected me in this manner. The people who know me best have been helpful through this time, as my bond with Puck seems to have been evident to all, so no one is surprised by the trouble I have had since. I have slowly been coming around to thinking of the good and happy times rather than bawling every time I see his face or hear his name, but am not yet entirely out of this phase.

I bring this up for two main reasons:

1. It is sad. And I am not the only one to go through this sort of reaction to the death of a pet. If you have and you feel bad, know that you are not alone and it is OK to be sad. 

2. It will come up for the rest of my life. Most of my plans for the next 10 years involved, or revolved around, this dog, and him not being here changes everything.

I was told I need a new routine, and that is what I am doing. I decided the new year is the right time. So, I will be better at updating this blog, as well as the art one. This time I am serious, as it will help me deal with life. 

Because, Puck is not the only big news!

I GRADUATED! That's right, after 15 grueling years being in and out of school, I earned a degree. Well, allegedly. I will be more inclined to believe this when I see the actual piece of paper. But, I did get an email about how to start paying off student loans, so... it's probably for real. I walked in the robes and everything. I don't think anyone is more excited than my mother. Graduation was on December 15, so I was still in a grief fog and have yet to really process what this means. One thing for sure: I need a new job. My crummy night and weekend gig will not cut it any longer. I did not work my butt off to so this do the rest of my life. 

In the end, life post Puck will be far different than how I expected to spend my 2018. I had planned on more time with my dog, getting a job that would help me buy a more road trip friendly vehicle to travel with him, and hiking with him. What I got was a year that started with heartbreak. The new goal is to change jobs to something I care about more, hike more, climb at least one 14er, and get more serious about my creative pursuits. 

Happy New Year, and I promise to try and be less morose and get back to my carefree sarcastic self. I hope you have set similarly achievable goals, and may 2018 bring more happiness than 2017.

P.S. - Here are some happy Puck pictures from our last outing to the reservoir together to bring a smile to your face.

     

Sometimes You Need Soup

The job situation remains unchanged, and the male unit gets the keys to his new place on Thursday. The official move out date is the 15th, so there is a little over a week remaining. Which is somewhat unnerving, since there is so little I have control over at the moment.

One of the things I do have control over is some home-cooked meals, such as the delicious tomato soup I made from Debbie Chapman's blog, onelittleproject.com/tomato-basil-soup/. I used my first round of produce from this season's farmers markets to make her soup, and was not at all disappointed. I used all fresh ingredients, except for some boxed chicken stock.

        

The onion was even growing a new onion! The fresh ingredients made the soup tasty. But my fancy spinning chopper made it easier to get the ingredients into the soup. I bought it at a Tupperware party on a whim, and was even told by my mother "you will never use it." HA! I use it ALL THE TIME! To make DELICIOUS FOOD!

I usually chop up the ingredients into somewhat smaller bits so that the tiny blades can actually chop it. Look at the difference it makes in the onion!

So, with all the fresh ingredients, and Debbie's easy-to-follow instructions, I made a fantastic tomato soup all on my own for the first time! I even got to use a never-before-used kitchen item, a hand blender. It helped me get the soup from this:

To this:

The soup came out so well that I ended up freezing some of it into individual size bags so I can have some in the next few months. I am trying to prepare for the possibility that things will be tight, so fresh produce will be hard to come by. Luckily there are the $10 for a 5 lb bag of produce guys, but they have a limited selection at the moment. I may get some pink or yellow tomatoes from the next stand to make the soup again, with a twist, and freeze that as well. Maybe I should also stock up on veggies to freeze for the coming months...

What Do I Do Now?

Just like everything else, the plan to become self-sufficient, cook more, and start actually using that gym membership have gone... awry.

Naturally "the great move" will be taking place at one of the least convenient times: Mid-June. One month to figure out how to go from full-time-student back to part-time student while working. This should not be too hard, since that description sums up most of my adult life.

The job hunt is... going. I have decided to avoid the regular 9 to 5 trap so I can keep the volunteering that I have been doing for the last 2 years. Also, in the fall I will have a class that requires a physical presence. This means I need to find odd jobs, a series of them. I have always enjoyed a bit of chaos. We will see how that goes...

Meanwhile, my house is still in shambles. I have begun the process of scrubbing off all the male unit's hand fat from the walls and cabinets. After writing this, the goal will be to attack the closet. I am going to be finally donating the 5 bags of clothing on the floor, and then trying to get rid of another 25% of the clothing in there. hopefully I can make enough space to store my sporting equipment in there again. It's a walk in closet... you would think I would have enough space. It is overrun with multiple colors of the same V-neck shirts. It may be time to update my wardrobe as well.

Now to get on to the organization and cleaning and job hunting and lunch eating.

And Then, Hope Was Restored

The Mini Remodel...

As you can see, recording my progress has gone well. I decided it was time to finally post the pre- and post-remodel photos of my living-room. Please do not judge the before photos. The carpet was in desperate need of replacement, but what is a busy and broke girl to do about it?

I spent the day before my birthday prepping the living-room and hallway for the utter demolish-ment that was about to commence. My Stepdad was arriving at 8:30 AM and I had done none of the prep work. So, I woke up early to tape everything off and get the painting done before we replaced the carpet. As you can see below, I had some help.

Soon after, I was finished. The rooms had been painted, all in one morning, before my Stepdad'a arrival. This was a much more impressive feat than I feel I get credit for. Nonetheless, after he arrived we removed all the baseboards and the disgusting carpet, and got to the work I had been putting off for nearly five years. 

The hallway was the worst part. We spent most of the day trying to figure out how to handle the self-clicking already padded laminate I had purchased. The tiny area was not great for two people to be trying to hammer things together as well as measuring and cutting with the table saw he set up on the front entryway. However, after all the frustration and swearing, the hallway was done and he had taught me how to use the saw to make the floor look more like professionals had done it than two frustrated people who had worked on a floor all day in a condo with no air conditioning on a 90 degree F day. The worst part for me was, since there is a unit below mine, I got extra padding to cut down on sound they would hear from my place. The padding came in a roll, and refused to stay unrolled.

The plan was to finish the next day, my birthday. But, PLOT TWIST! My 15 year old sister had planned on having a boy over and Stepdad's presence was required for this event. So, I was on my own. With a table saw. Unsupervised. Besides a few pieces I needed Stepdad's help to cut, for which I went to his house to beg for assistance, I did all of the rest on my own! It looks amazing! And I would like to add, that after 9 months or however long it has been, the floor is still standing up great!

The hardest part, besides the rolling orange pad that you can see above, was trying to keep the boards looking staggered. My moment of pride was this:

I had managed to cut a teeny tiny piece to fit perfectly and prevent some ridiculous looking gap in my beautiful new floor. 

At any rate, we managed to get the living room the way the S.O. wanted for his "office" and I wanted for my living, and we have been happy with it since. 

Since then, we have also added the wall decorations and cleaned up a bit. I am sure more photos will appear in future postings. The only issue with the floor so far has been some gaps forming in the hallway, where Stepdad and I got frustrated and just nailed a few pieces in. I have been using wood-floor gap fill on it and have had no issues so far.

And the Rest of It...

The rest of domestication has been horrible. I have not even finished cleaning the house from the flooring debacle where we moved everything out of the effected area and into the rest of the condo. The newest update is the S.O. is moving out soon to try the sweet freedom of living on his own for a while. I am trying to finish up school by December, am now job hunting, and trying to catch up on the domestic hell I have created for myself. Hoping to be a bit better and recording all the inevitable misadventures as this all happens, so you can come along on this absurd adventure with me.

In the beginning, there was hope.

I am an older... much older... than average college student trying to finish up my degree, finally. In my quest, it has become apparent that working while doing this is not for me. Fortunately, I have a very supportive, if not obnoxious, significant other who supports this idea. This is how I was catapulted into my new, and very unfamiliar, role of stay-at-home-girlfriend and homemaker. To make this whole somewhat embarrassing change of lifestyle more interesting, I decided to record my progress. I am a disaster. I know other people say this a lot, but I bring a whole new feel of "disaster" to the table. I take on too much, and have grand ideas, and usually end up on the couch binging on streaming TV shows while stuffing fried potatoes in my face hole. So, this is my way of having accountability. Now, if anyone else is attempting to do this for the first time as well, you can join me in my humiliation, and celebrate small victories with me. Or at least feel better about your own progress as you laugh at my lack of fineness in adulthood.

And now we get into the plan: I am hoping to get my cooking and housekeeping up to snuff.

Current projects:

• Make delicious food with mostly fresh ingredients.
• Paint my living-room
• Install hardwood laminate floors
• Rearrange living-room to fit S.O.'s "office" in it since this will apparently lead to "more quality time of being together while not interacting directly." (His words, not mine.)

So far the food part is fine. I have found a farmers market that I LOVE and some like minded friends who attend as well, and who also like to have a celebratory beer after our purchases. The hope is to start canning, a hobby I picked up and immediately became to busy for a few years ago, so I can enjoy some of the delicious fresh ingredients into the winter, which makes fresh produce a bit difficult to come by. The current issue is that I found a stand that does the "fill this plastic bag for $10" thing, and it leads to me bringing home an insane amount of vegetables to be used on two people per week. It has forced my creative side to come out. For example:

And that doesn't include the bits I already put in the fridge and produce basket. (The garlic was purchased at a separate booth...) This isn't really a problem, except that my fridge is full of beer.... I am working on clearing it out, but in the mean time I need to get a bit unorthodox in my fridge organizing. 

Now we get tot the plan of redoing the living-room. This all seemed simple, a month ago when I went out and purchased the flooring. Now I am in a state of panic as I can't even get myself to remove items from the walls to paint them. I took some before pictures... it is scary. You will judge me, as you should. I will take pictures of the horrendous hallway carpeting that lead to this entire fiasco as well, but wont share any of the pictures until I can also show the new and improved revisions... eventually. Then I can bask in my own glory for a bit.

Please wish me luck. I am in desperate need. Well, you can wish me motivation as well.